For terrified tourists: Knives to the natural one

You're visiting Madrid, and you go for a stroll in its justly famous Retiro Park. You stop at one of its cafés, you pick up the menu — and suddenly you are scared, not just by the prices. What is this stuff?



As a public service, here's the menu in its original Spanish, the bad translation, and what you really get:

Berberechos al natural
Cockles to the natural one
Cockles in their own juice, au naturale

Navajas al natural
Knives to the natural one
Razor clams in their own juice, au naturale

Mejillones en escabeche
Mussels pick leed
Pickled mussels, in spiced vinegar dressing

Almejas al natural
Clams to the natural one
Clams in their own juice, au naturale

Boquerones en vinagre
In vinegar anchovys
Anchovies in vinegar

Sardinillas en aciete
Sardines in oil
Small sardines in oil

Aceitunas rellenas
Olives stuffing
Stuffed olives

Almendras saladas
Saliferous almonds
Salted almonds

Bon appetit.

— Sue Burke